In A Room Full of People
by boughtthedream
Summary: And she still feels alone.
1. Jade West

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.**

**AN: I wrote this a while ago but got distracted. I know I shouldn't start anything else but most of this story has been written. Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it.**

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**A Room Full of People  
**

_Give it up, you can't win_

* * *

She figured out a long time ago that she's nowhere close to winning.

Jade's life changes the moment her father files for divorce. She doesn't know it yet, but he's the first person to give up on her, and he definitely won't be the last.

Her grandparents never understood her. Visits to their house consisted of complaints on her constant black attire, and her bad attitude. They too very quickly gave up on her, but that doesn't bother her much.

When she's seven her mom takes her to a therapist with complaints about her dark personality. The words clinical depression slips out of his mouth, and bottles of anti- depressants are given to her. She takes them for a month but they make her stop feeling human. Soon she refuses to take them, and her mother doesn't bother to force her.

/

Somewhere along the way Cat Valentine refuses to give up on Jade West. She doesn't flinch at Jade's harsh words, and doesn't mind Jade's weird habits. Yes, Cat Valentine made 7th grade a good year.

The moment she receives her Hollywood Arts acceptance letter she's genuinely and truly happy. Because in a world where so many people don't think she' worth the time, she's finally found a place. A place where she can ignore her father's disappointed stares, and become anyone she wants to be.

She decides to be Jade West, someone beautiful, but also cruel and bitter. If life didn't hand her a fair deck of cards why should anyone else get them either. She shines above the rest. With her voice and talent she rises to the top, and everyone else is too scared to challenge her. It's there at Hollywood Arts where she and Cat meet nerdy Robbie Shapiro, musical Andre Harris, and gorgeous Beck Oliver. Somewhere along the way she found three other people who think she's worth it. Slowly she doesn't feel the need to be so mean. And when Beck Oliver looks at her like she's the only person in the world, she finds that life isn't so bad after all.

/

What really scares her is when her mom gives up. It happens, two piercings and one tattoo later. Her mother looks at her and shakes her head. From that day in she doesn't even bother with Jade. Doesn't ask where she's going or what she's doing. They become strangers, and she's not sure who to blame.

/

Beck is beautiful in a way that she isn't. He's nice and calm, and everyone loves him. She tries to swallow the jealousy in her throat whenever a girl comes around, but it's impossible. If Beck won't tell anyone that he has a girlfriend she'll make sure they know. She pushes, kicks, and screams her way into his life. Making sure everyone knows who she is, and that she isn't a joke. The light in his eyes tell her that he doesn't mind. He loves seeing his girlfriend this protective over him, and he doesn't want it to stop.

She wants to say the changing point is when Tori Vega arrives. Once Tori Vega comes into her life everyone else seems to leave it. The next person to give up on her is Andre. He's stuck to Tori's side like it's the most natural thing in the world. He throws all of his songs and plays in Tori's direction. Sikowitz follows behind. He knocks Jade straight from the top and replaces her with Tori. She's no longer his top student, but instead a mean gank. No matter how hard she tries she's never enough to find her way into a lead role. Robbie's next but she'll never complain about that. She doesn't care enough about Robbie and his weird puppet Rex enough to begin with. She still has Cat and Beck though and that's enough.

But she really did hate Tori Vega. Tori Vega who kissed Beck, and makes Beck laugh, and smile. She hated that Beck took her side too often, and how Beck seemed to think it was his job to protect Tori from her. Somewhere along the way her bitterness comes back. This time it's larger than ever. She doesn't believe some of the cruel things she does, but it doesn't stop her. Tori doesn't get to come in and steal her life. She finds herself holding on to Beck tighter. Screaming at him in her mind not to give up. To ignore Tori and stay with her. She doesn't realize that her bitterness is hurting him until it's too late. Beck who's been with her for three years, gives up on her in ten seconds.

When she really thinks about it, Tori never really gave up on her. Despite how mean Jade can be Tori is always somewhere wanting to be her friend. But how can you be friends with the person who took everything away from you? The answer is you can't.

She'll always love Cat because she never fails to stay. Cat's there even when she doesn't want her to be and she wonders if Cat is the one constant in her life. But even Cat seems to have one foot already out the door.

/

She's not sure when it happens, but one day she finds herself tired, Tired of everything around her. She's tired of feeling like an outsider to a group of people she used to call friends. Tired of being behind Tori Vega. Tired of all the people trying so hard to get away from her. Most of all she's tired of feeling alone even when she's in a room full of people.

/

To the surprise of no one Tori wins The Platinum Award Contest. And Beck is beside her every step of the way. Beck who probably always thought Tori was pretty. Beck who didn't seem to even miss her. So when she gets offered to take Tori's place she accepts. If only because of the disgusted look on Beck's face. If he didn't believe in her anymore she would make him believe. And when Cat is the only person to show up to support her she feels that maybe she's hit rock bottom. And when she sees Beck leaning in to kiss Tori, she thinks she's suffocating. And when Beck talks her down just to convince Tori to kiss him she knows something inside her has broken. But good little Tori Vega is too nice to kiss Beck, and before long she's helping Tori replace her. It's almost worth it to see Beck smile at her. Almost.

/

The plan is simple. Jade doesn't want to make this some big event. She'll swallow her mom's sleeping pills and that will be it. Anything else will be too messy and she doesn't want anyone finding her that way. But this was final. No more being tired. No more people giving up on her, no more anything. And for the first time in a long time she feels happy.

She writes them letters because she thinks it's only fair to tell them goodbye. She spends most of the night on them because she knows she won't do it tomorrow, and she really wants this done.

She goes to school as Jadelyn West. No colorful extensions, no piercings, and no black. It's surreal walking down the hallways for the last time, and it almost freaks her out. This will be the last time she does any of this, but it's not enough to make her change her mind. She's nice to everyone she speaks to and ignores her friends questioning stares.

She's written nine letters, and she takes nine pills with shaking hands. It's poetic and kind of fitting. She imagines each pill has a name on it. Dad. Mom. Sikowitz. Trina. Andre. Robbie. Cat, Tori. Beck. Because each of them had a hand in this fate, and she wants them to know this.

She lies neatly on her bed, and ignores the fact that her vision is blurring and her breathing is getting heavier. In a final moment she relives her anger. Her anger at her parents and the crappy childhood they gave her. Her anger at friends who failed at being friends. Anger at a boyfriend too afraid to ever show any emotion, and anger at Tori fucking Vega for stealing everything away from her.

She doesn't regret her decision until she sees a flash of red. It's only for a second because she's immediately pushed into darkness.

The perfect ending for such a broken girl.

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_It's the same old story but you never get it right, give it up_

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So what do you guys think?


	2. Cat Valentine

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**AN: Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it. Thanks for the reviews. The song is the Drake & Josh theme but it's the Cat and Jade version. Also I don't remember saying Jade is dead.  
**

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**Cat Valentine**

_It's gonna take some time, to realize  
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find...  
always show that you know that i told you  
i'd always be pickin' you up when you're down.._

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Cat Valentine is a happy girl, who likes to believe everyone is as happy as she is. And even when people aren't happy, she tries her hardest to make them.

/

Cat Valentine isn't so happy when she finds a dying Jade West. In all honesty it's a miracle that she was even there. Jade's weird behavior prompted her friends to worry. The job of checking up on her fell to Cat, because she was the only one Jade half way liked. Andre drove her over, and left before she even got to the front door. She spent at least five minutes knocking before realizing the door was unlocked. Walking through the familiar house she found Jade's room, and also found a Jade who wasn't moving or waking up. She isn't stupid despite popular belief and connects the empty pill bottles next to Jade's unconscious body enough to realize what Jade had done. For a whole minute her body is frozen, and she can't make herself move. She can only stare at Jade like an unfamiliar object. A minute later she's calling 911 and screaming at them to help her. She can't help but grab the letters next to Jade's body as she waits.

She rides in the ambulance with Jade but it's the farthest they'll let her go with Jade. As soon as she's at the hospital she gets put in the waiting room. She takes that time to call Jade's mother. She also calls Tori because she always knows what to do. When Jade's mother arrives she has to explain what happens through tears, and she thrust the letters into her hands. She never read any of them, not even the one with her name on it. The doctor's won't even tell Jade's mothers what's happening and that makes it worst. For a moment all that can be heard is Jade's mother yelling and screaming about her daughter. It isn't until the guard threatens to kick her out that her mother finally calms down and sits next to Cat. She can't help but be angry at Jade for what she's putting them through. Didn't Jade know she had people who love her? Who would've helped if any she gave them the chance. The anger makes her shake, and she balls up in her chair hoping to pass time away.

When Tori arrives everyone else is with her. They ask her questions she can't answer and they also have no choice but to sit down and wait.

/

"These all have your names on them, and I figured you guys would want them. They were made for you." Jade's mother breaks the silence, by saying this and hands them their letters. She doesn't look around to see what everyone else is doing with theirs and immediately opens her.

/

_Dear Cat,_

_I want to start off by apologizing. As long as I can remember we've been each other's constant in life, and I'm taking that away from you. Don't be mad Cat. You can't be mad at me. You never get upset. You're always happy, and that was something I rarely was. Everyone was leaving me Cat, and you were too. I couldn't handle it. No one wanted me anymore Cat, and you were my only friend. But I couldn't help but wonder if that was because of how long we've know each other. Remember how we met in 7__th__ grade. You caught me in the music room singing, and you immediately wanted us to sing together. I told you to go away but you told me no. You weren't scared of me and I loved you for that. But you were slipping away. I was too mean, and you were too nice, and it would've never worked. You'll move on from this. You'll be happy again my next week. And I never want you to change. Keep being you, even when others tell you that you're annoying or stupid. You aren't stupid Cat you just see things differently. Sorry it took me so long for me to say this. And sorry I never got to tell you that you were the best friend I ever had. Just don't hate me, and never stop singing. Okay?_

_Love, Jadelyn_

_/_

When Cat entered 7th grade, not many people talked to her. They found her too happy, and too weird. It's not until she meets Jade West in a music room that life takes a turn. She's really mean, and really scary, but she also accepts her. Jade doesn't care that she has a weird brother, or that Cat's in the 7th grade but still watched cartoons.

Things don't really change once they enter high school. She and Jade still sing together, and Cat still sticks with Jade no matter how mean she gets. Somewhere along the way Beck&Jade happen. And Cat's no longer the most important person in Jade's life. She kind of loves Tori for coming in and causing problems. Every time Beck and Jade fight, Jade came over, and Cat could pretend it was almost like before. Of course apologies were exchanged and Jade would always go back to Beck. She's ready to give up on her, until Beck and Jade really do break up. Sure Jade calls her a pet, but she knows that Jade doesn't really mean it. And once again Jade goes back to spending time with her, but it's not the same. Something in Jade looks broken, but she refuses to help her fix it. Cat knows Beck is the only way to fix Jade, but she's too selfish. She doesn't want to be forgotten again. She tries really hard. She shows up at The Platinum Awards when all the boys go over to Tori's house. She invites her for sleepovers, and lunch, but Jade still looks broken. So she lets Jade walk around broken in hopes that is she tries hard enough she could fix Jade. But she can't fix Jade, and she realizes it the second it's really too late

/

Looking around she almost hates everyone in this room. They shouldn't be here. Only she deserves to be here. She was to one who tried to help Jade. She was to one who stood by her no matter what.

"You shouldn't be here. None of you should be here. I was her only friend. None of you deserve to be here. Leave. Go." She's screaming and crying and Robbie is trying to hug her and calm her down but it doesn't work. She shoves him off, and she's back to screaming. 'This is your fault. You killed her, you killed Jade." And she almost feels like she's telling the truth. Like if none of them had ever come into the circle she and Jade built all those years back, that she would still have her best friend.

"But Cat, Jade isn't dead. They're helping her now." It's Tori and her usual calm tone but that won't calm her down this time. Not when Tori is part of the problem.

"I don't understand why I wasn't enough." What she really means is, '_Why is Beck more important than me?_ _Why did she always put him first?'_ She looks Beck straight in the eyes as she says the next part. "I loved her, no matter, what and still all she cared about was you. And look where that landed her. I hate you Beck Oliver. I really do." She walks to a chair as far away from everyone as she could get before burying her face in her hands.

She doesn't talk to anyone for the rest of the night. A night turns in to a few days, and a few days turn into weeks. Still she can't help but ignore the people who did this to Jade, but more than anything she can't forgive herself. She was too selfish and tried to keep Jade all to herself and now, she didn't even have Jade.

Cat Valentine tried to make everyone happy, but Jade West wasn't everyone.

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_So just turn around._


	3. Andre Harris

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**AN: Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it. Sorry for the wait, the holidays are a busy time for me. Thanks for all the lovely reviews and encouragement.**

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**Andre Harris_  
_**

_Seven days a week every hour of the month  
Gotta let you know where my heart is coming from  
Shouldn't feel this way, but I gotta say  
Baby gotta let you know_

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There are three things Andre Harris loves in life: His music, his friends, and his family. No particular order, and that makes him feel guilty at times, but that's just the way it is.

/

He's just arriving home after dropping Cat off at Jade's house when he gets Tori's call.

"Jade tried to kill herself."

It's only a few words but it means so much. Guilt racks his body, because he should've stayed with Cat, but he ran off too scared to deal with Jade. He reverses out of his driveway and picks up Tori and Trina somehow forces her way in too. They end up meeting Beck and Robbie in the parking lot, and meet with Cat and Jade's mother in the waiting room. Neither of them knows what's really happening, but at least Jade is still alive. He sits next to Tori, and they all sit in silence until Jade's mother hands them letters. Cat's the only one who reads hers, and when she does, she begins to scream and shout. Everyone tries to calm her down and it doesn't work. She stops after telling Beck she hates him, and everything is quiet all over again. More silent then he really likes, so he gives himself a new focus. Jade's letter.

/

_Andre_

_I've always liked you. Really, you were the only one with common sense. I always thought we would be good friends, but you never liked me much did you? I wasn't all sunshine like Vega, and I wasn't rainbows like Cat. I was dead flowers, and storm clouds. But remember when I wasn't? Remember when we spent hours in the music room working on your songs. Back when you didn't flinch away from me. What changed? Was it me? Was it you? Was it because of Tori? You never explained. I don't understand. I thought I treated you like a friend. Do you hate me even more Andre? Are you glad I'm gone? Will you be much happier now? You know I always loved your talent. You're so great at everything you do. If any of us had a chance at making it it's you. I thought maybe we connected over your music but I was wrong. And now our story ends. You'll go on to be some big star and marry a girl like Tori Vega, and get a happily ever after. Just take care of Cat, and tell her I'm sorry._

_~Jade  
_

_/  
_

Andre falls in love with music when he's one. He gets a harmonica and runs around the house blowing into it. Fourteen years later he finds himself in Hollywood Arts and with a crazy grandmother. He's trained himself to play almost every instrument, and brushes up on his acting skills. He makes friends with Robbie and Beck but none of them seem to love music the way he does. Then he meets Cat and Jade. Cat's voice is pretty and can hit every note possible, but her brain is everywhere else and it's impossible to work on songs with her. But Jade could, and it was perfect. Sure she was mean, but she had talent, and he did his hardest to look past that. Then _Beck&Jade _happened and she no longer had time to sit around and sing songs. He was forced to work on his songs by himself but he didn't mind much.

The day he has to work with Trina Vega is one of the worst days of his life. Trina is loud and untalented and can never remember his name. By some sort of miracle he meets Tori Vega, and by another miracle Trina gets a swollen tongue and he gets to perform with Tori. When she gets in to Hollywood Arts he couldn't be more excited. She's talented and her voice is amazing. Maybe not as great as Cat's or Jade's but something about Tori makes her more memorable. Sure she can't write songs, but that doesn't really matter.

As Tori gets better and better Jade becomes meaner and scarier. And when he's forced to work with her again, he's scared. Beck laughs at him, but that doesn't ease his mind. Somewhere between late nights and song writing he falls in love. Something about this song and Jade being able to complete it in a way Tori never could makes his heart beat faster. But she belongs to Beck, so he sings her a song about chasing her for 365 days. In reality he never bothers to chase her, but he's too busy chasing other girls to care. It's not until a few months later when she's counting to ten and Beck refuses to open a door that he falls for her again. This time it's the look on her face. The one that says: Don't give up on me. But Tori is still his little miss Sunshine, and Beck is still his best friend. So he sits and watches her fall, always pulling away from her never helping. He makes her feel bad for replacing Tori at the award show and laughs silently when she loses her eyebrows. He's too afraid to say anything real to her. Too afraid that if he gets too close he'll fall too deep for her. And now all of it has paid off, because if she dies, she'll die thinking he always hated her.

/

He stands up from his chair and stops in front her mother. "I'm Andre Harris, and I was a bad friend to your daughter. I'm one of the reasons she's here, and I really don't deserve to call myself her friend." He walks outside after that. The waiting room seems too small, and too silent. By the time he makes it home the next day Jade's face haunts him every time he closes his eyes.

Eventually when he's famous like she said he would and he's performing at his first world tour, he'll open up with 365 Days.

"_This is a song I wrote for Jade West."_

Andre Harris loves four things in life, his music, his family, his friends, and Jade West. In no particular order of course.

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_I'll try 365 ways to get to you_


	4. Robbie Shapiro

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.**

**AN: Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it. Thanks for the reviews. Thanks so much for all the nice reviews. I think I really like this chapter. Please enjoy.**

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**Robbie Shapiro**

_ It's fun to run it's fun to play it's fun to make things out of clay, it's fun to fill your car with gas, it's fun to break things made of glass._

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Robbie is in the middle of arguing with Rex, when Beck shows up at his door. His body is shaking, and his eyes filled with tears. It's Beck as he's never seen him, and it scares him.

"Jade's in the hospital." Everything after that is a blur and he offers to drive Beck there because Beck's hands are shaking too much and he knows Beck could get them killed. By the time they get there Beck has stopped shaking and for a second Robbie wonders if Beck is too scared for anyone to see him looking weak. Everything starts off calm, or as calm as anything can be when your friend just tried to kill herself. Then Cat's yelling and hitting him and he feels like he's looking at a stranger. And when Andre walks out after talking to Jade's mom he feels like he's surrounded by strangers.

Not long after Andre walks out Sikowitz comes in. He wonders who the hell invited him, but doesn't put much thought into it. An hour later a doctor comes out, and takes Jade's mom back somewhere. Thirty minutes later when her mom doesn't return and Sikowitz has left without saying anything he decides to open his letter. Across from him he can see Trina opening hers.

/

_Robbie_

_You're a freak for carrying Rex around. But I think I understand why you carry Rex around. It's the same reason I'm doing this. Because you feel like everyone has given up on you. That there's no one who cares. That you're not worth it anymore. So you carry Rex around as both a reminder and a constant. Just like Cat in the one constant thing in my life Rex is yours. He only talks when you want him to, and never leaves you unless you want him too. He's a reminder of how everyone treats you. How they look at you and only put you down. You use him to keep yourself grounded so you'll never get your hopes up, just to see them fall down._

_So I kind of have a secret. The day Rex died was a stupid plan created by me. I thought if we took Rex to the hospital and pretend he was dead you would move on and be normal. It almost worked but Vega changed her mind at the last minute. She brought Rex back to life. I want to say sorry. I thought I was helping you but I wasn't. I was actually taking the one friend you had away from you. I was doing to you what everyone was doing to me. Sorry that I'll never get a chance to tell you this to your face, and I hope that you can forgive me. If Rex is what makes you happy then keep him. Just make sure you stop putting yourself down. Maybe if you learn to love yourself everyone else will love you too._

_/  
_

Robbie is three when his Grandfather gives him Rex. For the first two years Rex scares the crap out of him. He looks scary and Robbie has seen Chucky enough to know that puppets can be dangerous. He eventually finds himself a bit too lonely and grabs Rex up. He makes him talk and together they talk for hours.

Robbie's mom comes and goes. Some days she's there and other days she isn't. He likes it better when she's gone. Because she spends too many days looking at him with disappointed eyes. Disappointed that he has no friends, and disappointed that he waste his time learning to play guitar. Every mean word she says to him Rex learns to echo back.

By the time Robbie reaches middle school, Rex is a full time bully. He laughs as classmates trip Robbie and stick gum in his hair. He calls him dumb when he fails test, or gets rejected by a girl. Robbie thinks that will change when he gets to Hollywood Arts. People there are different too, and maybe he'll find his place. He does find his place with a group of friends. But these friends aren't much better than other bullies. They laugh at him and taunt him, but at least they don't hurt him, and do try to help when he needs it. Well everyone except Jade. She's pretty, but dangerous. She spits out bitter words and her stares are mean enough to kill. Robbie thinks he found the devil in disguise, while Rex thinks he's in love. Rex tries hard to flirt with Jade and push her buttons. He laughs at her jokes, and compliments her talent.

Things change when Tori shows up. Tori's perfect and both Rex and Robbie try to steal her attention. But she's too busy looking at Beck, and other popular boys to notice them. Her face lights up in disgust, when he's around. Still she's nice to him, and treats him better than most people do. Jade is terrible to her though. She hates Tori more than Robbie thinks she's ever hated someone. It almost seems like there's a line within the group. Those who support Tori, and those who support Jade. It's very easy for him to pick Tori's side. Nothing really changes though. He's still a nerd who can't drive, and girls still run at the sight of him. He sees the way his on friends look at him with annoyance, and rejection. But they're the best he's got so he stays.

Eventually his eyes leave Tori, and instead he sees Cat. Cat is beautiful and nice, and doesn't treat him the way most people do. Most of the time he wonders if she's too dumb to be repelled by him. The more he chases Cat, the less time he has for Rex. He's not sure if that's a good or bad thing. All he knows is that no matter how close he gets to finally having Cat she's one step ahead of him. And in between all of this time if he ever noticed that Jade seemed more tired, and that she maybe was becoming thinner he wasn't going to say anything. Why should he care? It wasn't like Jade was ever nice to him anyway. All the reasoning in the world will never stop the guilt.

/

After he finished his letter there was nothing much to do. Everyone seemed to be in their own world. A few more minutes pass by before Jade's mother finally steps back into the waiting room. Her eyes are red with tears, and she looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"I just came to tell you all that Jade has been stabilized, and that you can all go home." Tori makes a sound of protest before asking Jade's mom if they can at least see Jade. "The doctors aren't sure when she'll wake up, and I don't think any of you should stay here waiting for her to wake up. It could take days really." Although she never says it there's a part of him that can tell that she's not admitting, there's a chance Jade could never wake up. She walks over to Cat before crouching down and whispering something. Cat nods before standing up, and the two women walk in the direction of Jade's room.

He, Trina, and Tori stand up to leave but Beck stays in his spot. They try for at least 10 minutes to get him to leave but in the end they let him stay. Tori feels bad about leaving Beck there so she decides to stay while Trina calls their father to get a lift home. Robbie knows he has nothing to stay for so he heads off. He doesn't go straight home, but instead drives around his neighborhood, until he's forced to pull over as tears start to cloud his vision. His body shakes as he thinks about how alone Jade must have felt to try to pull a stunt like that. That maybe if he was a bigger person he could've offered Jade help when he first realized she needed it. He's never thought about losing a friend, but tonight has been a close call. He just couldn't imagine how things could ever go back to normal.

/

In the end he has a right to be worried. Cat stops speaking to any of them. Beck is always sad. Tori is always quiet. Andre barely plays music. But most importantly Jade never sets foot in Hollywood Arts again.

* * *

_But broken glass can cut your hand and then you'll bleed across the land._


	5. Trina Vega

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**AN: Takes place after Tori Goes Platinum and excludes any episodes after it.**

**Longer one this time. First I was being lazy and made a mistake in my last author's note. It should be fixed now. Trina and Jade have no song that connects them, so I used All I Want because they helped performed it in Locked Up. Trina was hard for me to write for so I hope I did an okay job. Also I appreciate every review. I'm glad you guys like this story.**

* * *

**Trina Vega**

_I'm sick of settling for in between  
And I'm not giving up_

* * *

Trina is sitting on the couch ordering her sister to make her some cream of wheat, when Tori gets the call. At first she just rolls her eyes and yell at Tori to hurry up. But when Tori's face falls and she begins yelling things frantically into the phone, Trina actually gets nervous. It's not until Tori is telling Andre what happened that she finally knows what's going on.

"But why would Jade try to kill herself?" Her question goes unanswered like most of her questions do. She's not important enough for answers. When Andre comes to give Tori a ride to the hospital, she demands to come too. She doesn't know why she wants to go. Jade was never her friend really. But something, maybe guilt or pity makes her feel like she needs to go.

They're there for a while and between that time, Cat breaks down and Andre walks out of the hospital and Jade's mom disappears. She looks down at her letter. Part of her is touched because Jade actually thought of her. And now she's happy that she came along. She takes a deep breath before opening it since there's a chance that Jade was mean enough to leave her one last insult.

/

_Trina_

_I am so sorry._

_~Jade_

/

Trina Vega isn't stupid. She knows that not a lot of people like her. But she once read that in order for people to love you, you have to love yourself. So that's what she does. Only she's been doing it for over eight years and she still can't manage to find one friend. She knows that she's loud and untalented. Most importantly she's not Tori Vega. Anyone with a sibling could tell you how hard life can be. But Trina figures her case is the worst. She's an older sister somehow trapped in the shadow of her younger sister.

Trina supposes that at one point of her life she was the center of attention. She can't remember that time because Tori came into the world when she was barely one. She knows that at one point of time her parents didn't favor one over the other.

When she was younger she really loved Tori. She had plans of teaching her what clothes to wear and how to get boys to ask you out. In the end none of that worked out. Because as time went on, it was Tori who was getting dates, and Tori who wore the better clothes. Even their parents seemed to like Tori better. So while she was in 8th grade she auditioned for Hollywood Arts. Tori had no interest in singing and acting, so Trina figured it was the safest way to insure she wouldn't go through high school being compared to her little sister. And by some stroke of luck she was accepted.

Sure her teachers tell her that she has no chance at making it, and students make fun of her, but nothing could change the fact that here she could be her own person. But her luck runs out. Tori gets accepted into Hollywood Arts in the middle of Trina's junior year. At first she doesn't mind it. She even supports her sister but things get worse and worse. Tori thrives here and makes friends. People write Tori songs to sing and any role she audition for she gets. There's only one person who hates the fact that Tori is there more than her. And it's Jade West.

Most big sisters feel the need to protect their younger sister. Trina is the exact opposite. She finds herself quietly laughing as Jade makes Tori's life harder. The only problem is that more than Jade hates Tori, she hates Trina. Jade's cruel remarks stick with her longer than she would like to admit. And it makes her sad because they could honestly be friends. Both hate living under Tori's shadow and both aren't exactly making their parents proud. But it doesn't take long to see that no matter how much Jade seems to hate Tori, Jade also seems to have a soft spot for her.

Beck breaking up with Jade was probably the best day of her life. She realizes thinking that was stupid because a week later he's in her living room kissing her. For just a moment she lets herself believe that someone actually wants her. That she can have someone like Beck. Of course it ends up being a stupid joke.

And a few weeks later when she watches Beck try to kiss Tori she really isn't surprised. Because everyone wants perfect little Tori _Fucking _Vega. And later when she sees that Jade gave Tori her spot back in the PMAs she isn't really surprised either. Because Tori has a way of getting everything she wants. Even friendship from the one person who's suppose to hate her.

But she walks out of that day learning something important. Girls like her aren't meant to be loved. So the only thing she can do is love herself.

/

As she stares at the sentence over and over again her eyes begin to blur. It was an apology. Something so simple but also something she needed. She careful tucks the letter into her pocket and waits along with everyone else. Eventually Jade's mom comes in and tells them they can go home. Beck and Tori decide to stay but she doesn't think she can handle much more. She calls her dad and waits out front for him to arrive. It takes her dad an hour and a half to arrive even though their house is only twenty minutes away. She knows there are more important things happening. That Jade could be dying, but at this moment nothing is more important than this.

"If it was Tori who needed a ride you would've been here sooner." She waits for him to apologize or deny her claim but he doesn't. Of course he doesn't. Everyone loves Tori so much more than her. The whole car ride in awkward and silent and Trina tries not to cry. She kind of wants to just sleep for a year, and wake up to a better reality.

"So…" her dad starts off."I didn't know you and Jade were friends." She wants to ask him why even cares but she's had enough for today.

"We aren't" She answers because it's the truth. Her and Jade have never been friends and may never get the chance to be friends.

That doesn't stop her from taking Jade's note everywhere she goes.

/

In the end she's right. They never become friends.

* * *

_We're heading for the sky  
And we'll get lost in it  
Cause all I want, all I want, all I want is everything_


	6. Tori Vega

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

**AN: Excludes everything after Tori Goes Platinum. Okay we've reached Tori's chapter. The song for this chapter is Don't You (Forget About Me), because there was no way to make Take A Hint fit this kind of story. I'm a Bade fan but I really needed to figure out of Beck and Tori reached the point of being so close in TGP. It was hard for me to write but it was one of the only ways I could make a connection. Thanks for all the reviews I really appreciate them. The next chapter is one a lot of you have been waiting for.  
**

* * *

**Tori Vega**

_Don't you try to pretend  
It's my feeling we'll win in the end  
I won't harm you or touch your defenses  
Vanity and security_

* * *

Tori Vega sits and stares at the clock hanging on the wall. She counts every second that passes by and just waits for everything to make sense.

The waiting room they're in is small and clean. Beck is right next to her but he's barely said anything since they first arrived, and now everyone but the two of them have disappeared and she feels angry at them for leaving. Didn't they want to stay for Jade? If it were her in a hospital bed would they leave too? Or would they stay until they knew she was alright?

And why would Jade do this anyway. Why would Jade do this knowing she had people who cared about her? How could she choose to be that selfish?

Tons of questions float around in her head and she just wants them to stop. So she chooses to focus on something else. Jade's letter.

/

_Tori_

_I bet you'll never understand this feeling. It's a scary feeling one that I try so hard to run from. I feel so alone but you don't understand. How can you understand? Everyone loves you. Your parents, our friends, sometime I think even Be… I had a bad feeling about you the moment I saw you. I knew you would changes things and that scared me. So I did my best to shove you out of my life but you wouldn't budge. And I had to watch my friends slowly become your friends. I had to watch my name go from leading role to understudy so many times. I was trying to push you out of my life but instead you pushed me out of mine. And the weird thing is that you never tried to do this to me. No matter how mean I got all you wanted to do was be my friend. And there were times when I really wanted to let you be my friend but then Beck would smile at you or Cat and Andre would ignore my calls to hang out with you and I started to hate you even more. No, not hate. No one can ever hate you. You make it impossible. Whenever I thought I hated you, you would do something that would make me realize that I didn't. And I just don't understand. I purposely try to ruin you and to make you sad but I fail every time. But without even lifting a finger you've managed to do the most damage. And the more I write this note the more anger I feel. Because who gave you the right to make me feel this way? Who told you to come into my life at all? Of all the people you could've been friends with you just had to take mine? But what makes me even angrier is that even after all Is said and done I still can't find it in me to hate you. So you win. You always win._

_Jade_

/

Almost all her life Tori Vega wanted to be anyone but herself.

When Tori is three all she wants to be is a princess. She watches countless Disney movies everyday and she refuses to wear anything but dresses. Her obsession becomes so bad that she promises to herself and those around her that by the age of 16 she would marry a prince and live happily in a castle.

By the time she is six Tori has grown out of her princess phase and wants to be just like her big sister. Trina is in is 1st grade and doesn't have to have nap time. She also gets to go to sleepovers at her friends homes while Tori is stuck with her parents. She spends time copying everything Trina does, and she knows Trina doesn't mind.

At the age of twelve she wants to be like her favorite pop star Ginger Fox. She wears wacky clothes and carries around a fake microphone giving random performances throughout the day. Her weird behavior does not earn her any friends but she figures that when she becomes famous everyone will want to be her friend.

The second she steps into high school she trades her dreams of being a pop star and instead craves to be popular just like the pretty senior girls. She wants friends to hang out with and boys asking her out on dates. She learns how to dress and play the part of a popular girl. She smiles at everyone who passes her and memorizes everyone's name. She shows up to major school events and in the end it works out. Everyone wants to be friends with her and she finds an awesome boyfriend named Daniel. The only flaw is that she kind of hates who she's become. She feels the need to be perfect happy Tori all the time and it's exhausting. She tries to explain it to Daniel but it doesn't work out. They don't work out. She breaks up with him and doesn't give it another thought.

By luck half way through her sophomore year she meets Andre Harris and suddenly she wants to be a pop star all over again. She performs on stage and takes everyone's breath away. She feels alive had people cheer for her and she smiles widely when she's offered a spot in Hollywood Arts.

On her first day she's clumsy and runs into a boy. He makes her heart beat a bit faster and suddenly she feels like she's three years old again, wanting nothing more than to be a princess who finds her prince. This isn't her fairytale though, because Beck Oliver (her prince) already has a princess of his own. She comes in the form of Jade West who hates Tori immediately. Coffee is poured on her and she kisses someone else's boyfriend but in the end things settle down.

Tori is just as popular here as she was at her old school. She's nice and she earns friends and earns leads in plays. And even though she wants to be a pop star, and wants to be a princess who finds her prince, and popular, she also wants to be like Jade West, because Jade is no one but herself. She treats people badly, never smiles, and doesn't bother to know anyone's name. But despite all of that Jade still has fiends, boys admire her (from far away) and she's just as talented as anyone else in this school. But more importantly Jade has Beck Oliver who loves her even when she seems unlovable. Tori wishes she could be just as lucky, to actually have the ability to not be so perfect all the time and still keep her friends. _To actually be herself._

She begins to loosen up and her flaws start to show and amazingly no one leaves. In fact they all seem to come closer. Andre is always writing her songs, and Cat is there to listen. Robbie tries painfully hard to flirt with her and Beck always stands up for her and sends her kind smiles. And even Jade seems to be warming up to her. Jade still growls anytime Tori gets too close to Beck but besides the few mean spirited words Jade throws at her they're_ kindofsortof_ friends.

The only problem is that Tori still hasn't found her prince. She may have more than most but she won't stop until she has it all. Boys come but they never stay too long. And though she'll never admit it her stomach sometimes hurt when she sees Beck&Jade together. But one day Beck&Jade become Beck and Jade. She feels sad for the girl but she also knows that Jade could've been better to Beck.

The first time she kisses Beck is just a week after his breakup with Jade. It's not what she expected to be like and she doesn't know why. The kiss feels nice and her heart speeds up but something keeps her from actually enjoying it all the way. So she keeps kissing him and tries her best to ignore the bad feeling.

And for the first time she thinks that maybe she can have it all. Only she's not exactly sure what this new thing with Beck is. They aren't dating and are doing nothing more than a few stolen kisses. But she decides to take what she can get. Anytime she looks at Jade the guilt makes her want to explode but Jade is a strong girl and can get through anything.

Her dream of becoming a pop star gets one step closer. Out of the millions that auditioned she's the one who's chosen to perform at the Platinum Music Awards. Beck is right beside her when she gets the news. And when they hug in the middle of the hallway she feels like everything is falling into place.

The only thing is that Mason tells her to change herself. They throw her in silly outfits and encourage her to behave badly in public. And people suddenly stop talking to her. When her friends see her in the hallway they suddenly turn the other direction. And for the first time in a long time she wishes she was just herself.

Beck is the first to figure out what's wrong with her and she kinda loves him for that. He's proving to be her savior in this whole sticky mess. That's why she doesn't understand why she actually feels relieved when her mother interrupts them when they're just about to kiss.

Beck convinces her to stand up to Mason and he's with her every step of the way. And the look on Jade's face when questions Mason's choice when he replaces her with Jade is heartbreaking. And she honestly doesn't mind that Mason replaced her with Jade. (It's an even trade off. Jade gets to have Tori's dream because Tori has what Jade loves the most: _Beck_)

And she feels even better when Robbie and Andre show up at her house instead of supporting Jade at the award show. But she feels guilty because before any of them were Tori's friend they were Jade's friend so she does the right thing and sends them off. Then it's just her and Beck and his leaning close but all she can think about is Jade. Because Jade may have this amazing opportunity but that's all she has. So she tells Beck no and when Beck tries to convince her to kiss him he suddenly stops looking like a prince and just like any other guys she's ever met. Eventually he realizes that no means no.

Karma must love her because in the end Jade gives her back her spot and she gets to perform. It's the biggest rush and when she sees Beck and Jade smiling at each other in the audience she knows she's done the right thing.

And maybe she doesn't have a prince quite, yet but everything else has fallen into place.

She's too busy talking to family and friends to realize that somewhere in all of that time Jade has disappeared.

She's too busy to think about all the opportunities she's stolen from Jade. All of the friends, she's stolen or how she almost took Beck away from her too.

She just wanted to be a _princesspopularpopstar&herself  
_

She just wanted it all.

Was that too much to ask for?_  
_

/

She balls up the note as soon as she reads the last line. Her heart is beating fast and her eyes start to sting. She excuses herself even though Beck probably doesn't even hear her and she stumbles down the hall and out the door. Each step gets harder and she can't think, she can't breathe, she can't….

And just… Fuck! Was she the reason Jade tried to kill herself? Maybe she was a princess in her own fairytale but in Jade's was she the Evil Queen?

She's only a few feet into the parking lot when movement catches her eyes. It's Andre sitting on the hood of his car just staring straight ahead.

"Hey." She says softly and climbs up his car so she can sit next to him. "I thought you went home."

He shakes his head. "Did anything happen with Jade?" She sadly shakes her head and they both fall into silence. But the silence only serves to make her mind work even faster.

"I can't help but feel like this is my fault." As soon as the words come out she begins to sob. Andre makes no move to comfort her and she can't blame him. He can't even comfort himself. They all played a role in this but perhaps she played the biggest part. She destroyed Jade's life the most even if she never meant to.

"Do..do you think this is my fault. Do you think I'm the reason Jade felt so lonely?" Tears roll down her face and she just wants to go back in time and change everything. She jumps slightly when she feels fingers intertwine with hers.

"I think we all made her feel lonely." She nods and both continue to sit and silence and she prays with everything in her that everything will be okay.

/

Some things aren't meant to be.

/

She'll never have it all.

* * *

_Don't You Forget About Me __Don't Don't Don't Don't_


	7. Beck Oliver

**Disclaimer**: **I do not own Victorious.**

**AN: I have commitment issues. The closer I get to be done the later my updates come. One more chapter after this so hopefully it comes out quicker. Also since I've last updated the show has ended. I'm sad the show is over but I'm really looking forward to the cast's future projects. So let's get this chapter started. Beck's chapter is a bit different from the rest so just a warning.** **Thanks for all the kind reviews.**

* * *

**Beck Oliver**

_You think you got me but you don't get me. You think you want me but you don't know what you're getting into._

_/_

_Hope there's a conversation where we both admit we had it good but  
until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood_

_-Gavin Degraw, Not Over You_

* * *

Andre's voice plays like soundtrack in his head all the way to Robbie's house. He meant to drive all the way to the hospital but he never makes it. By the time he makes it to Rob's front door all he can do is shake and let Robbie offer to drive them to the hospital. Never in his life has it been so hard to breathe. His heart feels like it's going to beat straight out of his chest and everything feels like it's going in slow motion.

And the longer he sits in the waiting room with the rest of his friends the more he blames himself for what's happening.

It's a thought that Cat shares with him.

She blames him just like he blames himself. He can't even bring himself to deny her accusations. They both know she's right.

Slowly all of their friends start to leave but he refuses to move. He has to know if Jade is okay. He has to see her before he leaves. So he waits even as the hours pass by.

As he continues to wait a couple goes by with a small bundle in their arms. The look absolutely and utterly happy and it's enough to make Beck feel sick. Because the world keeps turning in unaware that his world has stopped moving completely. He doesn't think it's fair. No one has the right feel happy when something this terrible has happened.

He eyes the letter in his hand and contemplates throwing it away. He doesn't want to read her goodbye letter because reading it is like admitting there's a chance she won't live through this.

Eventually he sees her mother walking by and he jumps up and immediately asks her to see Jade.

"You can't." She says simply. She makes him call his parents but takes the phone as soon as his mother answers. She explains what happened and where they are but Beck doesn't really pay attention. When she hangs up she hands him back the phone. "You're parents are coming to pick you up. I have to go back now." She turns and walks away and he wonders how much trouble he could get into if he follows her and forces his way into Jade's room.

"Is Jade alright?" He voice sounds hoarse and is barely above a whisper and he's sure Jade's mother didn't hear him but he's wrong because she turns around.

"No." She answers honestly before walking away. He's still staring off in the direction Jade's mother disappeared to when his parents show up. Both of them look sadder than he's ever seen them before and they basically have to drag him to the car.

Once they get home his parents refuse to let him sleep in the RV by himself. Instead they bring him to sleep in his old bedroom that they keep set up for him. While he still used the room to store a few things he hadn't slept in it for a little over a year.

"What's that?" His mother asks as she nods to the letter in his hand.

"Jade." He mutters wanting her to leave him alone. She looks like she wants to say something but doesn't and quickly says good night before closing the door. He tries to put the letter down but finds himself opening it instead.

/

_I don't know where to begin so how about I start from the beginning. I never believed in much but I really did believe in us. And I know at times I could be terrible. I'm jealous and I'm always angry and difficult to handle. But you never really cared about that all before. I was under the impression that what everyone else hated about me you loved. And I know you really do deserve better than me. I guess that's why I freaked out when Tori entered the picture. She's everything you deserve and she's everything I'm not. And the more you smiled at her the tighter I hold on. But I guess I was holding on too tight because you didn't open the door. You gave up on me just like everyone else. I don't really blame you though. Because let's face it Beck every girl seems like a better choice than me. So when you chose to be with me it meant everything to me. It was like you were one of the only people who loved me for me. But I guess in the end that I was to terrible to love. Just know that even though you've move on, even though you don't love me anymore I'll always love you. No one can ever love you the way that I do. It's just impossible. _

_~Jade West_

/

Beck Oliver lived to act. His parents were the quiet conserved type and that's how he was brought up too. To never let anything get to him and always keep a cool façade. That's why he enjoys acting so much. It allowed him to be whoever he wanted to be and to show whatever emotion the character is feeling. When he acted he threw himself completely into his character.

So in his first month at Hollywood Arts he never imagined the dark and mysterious Jade West would get him to drop his cool. Like everyone else he had heard of Jade's temper and stayed far away. On one faithful day however the "shrugger" who usually sat next to Jade was in Beck's usual seat. He tried to get him out of the seat but the boy refused saying he couldn't handle sitting next to Jade anymore.

So he was forced to take the seat next to Jade. Trying to be friendly he gives her a small smile but she doesn't even acknowledge him. Surprisingly sitting next to Jade actually turns out to be fun. There's a lot of things that he's never noticed about her before but wished he had.

He liked her dark and blunt sense of humor. Whenever Sikowitz did or said something weird he found himself laughing under his breath. And he really hadn't noticed how pretty Jade looked until he was next to her. By the end of the class his stomach felt weird. SO weird that he spent the rest of the day in the nurse office. But no matter how much medicine he took whenever he thought of Jade his stomach got even worse. It's not until he's reading a script where the lead character is experiencing the same kind of problem does he realize what's happened. He has a crush on Jade.

After the realization he puts all of his efforts into chasing after Jade. It takes a bit of hard work but he finally gets her.

And as simple as that they become Beck&Jade. The relation however is anything but simple. He learns right away how possessive she can be. He also notices that she's never completely open with him. She also has the ability to bring out his emotions at any given time. He goes from Mr. Cool Calm and Collected to yelling at her in public.

But there's also good times too. Days where they stay up late talking about any and everything. Days of passion and lust and unbelievable feelings. Days where she told him she loved him. It's those kind of days that make their whole rocky relationship worth it.

Trouble comes in the form of Tori Vega. He doesn't know it but the second he meets her she becomes their downfall. She's sweet and nice and everything else Jade isn't and Beck think that in another universe he would be in love with her. But he's in love with Jade and not even Tori could stand in the way.

Jade doesn't agree though. From the moment she meets her Jade treats her badly. And though Beck feels sorry for the girl he knows his loyalty is with Jade. Still he tries to make up for Jade's meanness by being nice to Tori. In the end all it does is make Jade even more jealous and he feels like he can't win.

/

"**10"**

_Go open the door_

"**9"**

"**8"**

"**7" **

_Get Trina off and open the door_

"**6"**

"**5"**

_Gotta open the door_

"4"

_Open_

"**3"**

_The _

"**2"**

_Door_

"**1"**

_I can't_

/

Out of sight out of mind is the attitude he adopts the second he and Jade break up. As soon as he gets to the RV after a few rounds of poker he clears the RV of everything that belongs to her and the next morning when everyone else is at school he drops all of her stuff back at her house so he can avoid any confrontation.

Sure the RV still smells like her. And sure every time he tries to sleep all he can think about is the pain in his chest. That's normal. Nothing to worry about.

He'll get better at forgetting her. He just has to give it some time.

Only none of it gets easier. And the more he tries to push her out of his head the angrier he gets at her. He wasn't like this before he met her. But she's ruined him.

/

Okay so Jade could be romantic when she felt like it (which was hardly ever). When they first started dating she left little notes in his locker. They weren't much but they were enough to brighten his day. And after they became serious, little notes started appearing in his RV. He would find them at random times and in random places and no matter how hard he tried he could never find them all. While the notes was something he enjoyed during their three year relationship, after their breakup they became a reminder of what he lost.

/

The first time he finds another one of her little notes is a week after the break up.

_One of my favorite things to do is kiss you._

He doesn't love Tori but she can make him forget. When he kisses her he can forget about Jade at least for a while. So that's what he does.

/

He finds another the night of the Platinum Awards auditions. He's alone in his RV because every he knows is making an audition tape while he doesn't bother because he's never been much of a singer.

_Even if we never make it. Even if none of our dreams come true everything will be alright as long as I'm with you._

This one hurts the worst. It's full of empty promises and heartbreak. He can't even bring himself to sleep that night because all he'll do is dream of Jade. So instead he spends the night washing his sheets over and over again. He feels slightly guilty about the noise he's making while his parents try to sleep but he needs the scent to go away. He washes them once, then twice, then over and over but no matter how many times the sheets go in he can still smell her on them.

And when he makes it back to the RV he refuses to even sit on the bed. Because all he can see are the times Jade used to sleep on the bed right next to him.

By the time he gets to school he's angry. He hates Jade and these stupid notes she left around. He wasn't like this before he met her. Before he met her nothing could affect him much. His cool was never lost and nothing bothered him for more than a few seconds. But now it's like he's a different person. One who can't hide anything anymore and for that reason alone he almost hates her.

Almost.

/

Tori doesn't want to kiss him anymore and that kind of hurts. And when she tells him it's because of Jade it makes him angry. Because everything in his life always comes down to a single person. Jade.

He's shocked when Tori appears on stage. He's even more shocked when Jade comes and sits next to him. Before he knows it they're both smiling and he can't exactly remember why he wanted to forget about her.

Maybe he's just destined to always think about her.

And maybe just maybe he'll tell her that.

/

He never gets the chance to of course.

* * *

_You don't know me_


	8. Here's To Us

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious**

**AN: Sorry for such the long wait. I lost inspiration for a bit.**

**Thanks goes to Rach and Brittany. They helped encouraged me to update.**

**Thanks to Kush who has been reminding me to update since the beginning. You're the best. **

**Thanks to Lauren Smith who made a twitter just to tell me to update. Thanks to BadeBlade for supplying me my longest review yet.**

**Most importantly thanks to Khay for proofreading this. May we rule the world with brownies Khay. **

**Of course a thanks goes out to my readers and reviews.**

**This chapter is just highlighting the aftermath of everything. **

* * *

**Here's To Us**

_I'm a player, I'm a hater but I swear you would never know_

* * *

_Here's to the Mondays watching all the cars on the free way_

Cat Valentine

~Monday

She giggles as she watches Sikowitz jump around on stage. Not because she thinks it's funny but because she can imagine Jade's reaction to it all. She would roll her eyes and say something insulting. Sikowitz would say something about her bitterness and so on.

The thought of Jade immediately quiets her up. It's been a year and she still misses her as much as she did the first day Jade left them. Suddenly she doesn't want to be at school anymore. She raises her hand and asks to go to the bathroom, only she never goes.

Instead, she walks straight out the school's door and let her feet carry her wherever it is they want her to go. Eventually she finds herself at Jade's house. She hesitates for a few moments before biting her lip then knocking on the door. As usual no one answers. No one has answered in year. Sliding down the door and onto the floor Cat giggles. Then she laughs. Big, loud laughs that turn into sobs. After a while, no more tears come and she pulls herself together and prepares to head home.

Only five more days until graduation. The[n,] she'll be free. She'll be able to go somewhere that isn't covered in memories of Jade.

/

_Here's to raining on your own parade_

Andre Harris

~Tuesday

He winces at the big F on the corner of his paper. Not that an F is an unfamiliar sight. Since the incident, he barely remembers how to put words together and make a song. His notes always sound sour and his hands fall clumsily over the piano. And during times when he can pull himself together long enough to write he can only imagine her voice singing his songs, because she can no longer be the one to sing his songs, he tears his up and tries not to think of them anymore.

He sees Jade whenever music is playing. It doesn't matter what type of music because no matter what, in his mind Jade and music mean the same thing.

He stuffs his failed paper into his backpack and ignores his teacher's disappointed looks. Instead he pulls out his PearPad and browses around his SplashFace then types in a new status.

All I can write is songs meant for her.

/

_Here's to never winning first place_

Trina Vega

~Wednesday

Trina smiles as she finishes the finishing touch on her new apartment. It's basically a shoebox but what more can you expect from an apartment in New York? For once she's glad to be away from everyone. This feels like a new start. It feels like what she needs. She's just about finished when she hears a knock on the door. Who she finds standing there is not who she expects.

"Dad? I thought you couldn't take off work this week." He's standing there with a wry smile on his face and for the life of her she can't imagine why he's here.

"I took time off. This is important. You're important." She slowly nods before letting him in.

A fresh start indeed.

/

_I ain't got a thing to do can I sit here next to you?_

Robbie

~Thursday

Lunch is always awkward. Cat never sits with them anymore, while Tori tries to start conversations but never succeeds. Andre always spends it scribbling words on paper before he balls them up. And Beck? Beck just sits there. He never says anything, never does anything. Just sits. For the first few weeks Robbie tries using Rex to lighten up the mood but he stops trying when it doesn't work. Instead he works on his homework. He knew since that night that nothing would be the same but he didn't realize things would be this bad for this long.

He kind of hates Jade. Because she's the one who did this to him, but the rational part of him realizes that it's wrong. He just wants things to go back to the way they were. He would gladly take thousands of Jade's insults if she would just come back and fixed everything. But he'll settle for moving on from all of this after graduation.

Maybe it was time to leave them all behind.

/

_Here's to showing up anyway_

Tori Vega

~Friday

Tomorrow is graduation. It's a hard concept for her to grasp. She has a difficult time accepting that today is her last day at this school; that she will no longer be surrounded by these familiar hallways again. But in a way, it's a relief for her. College will be a nice new start. She can be whoever she wants to be in a place where no one knows her. She'll no longer be constantly reminded of the people she's hurt.

Because whenever she looks at Robbie, she remembers how she never let him come out on top. Or when she sees Cat and remembers that she had taken away her boyfriend. She remembers the times she's convinced Andre to write songs for her yet she never gave him the credit he deserved. And when she looks at Beck, she can't help but see Jade. But Jade and Beck have always been a packaged deal until she came along. Now there's no Jade and Beck. Just Beck. Because she's taken Jade away. She's been selfish but she knows she can change.

Just not in this town.

/

_Here's to every single heartbreak_

Beck Oliver

~Saturday

"And lastly, John Wayne." Beck watched as the principal announces yet another person in their graduating class.

"Congratulations, Class of 2013. You've made it."

Only Beck knows that isn't true. If they had truly made it then one more person's name would've been called. Jade would've been the last person to receive her diploma.

"_But she isn't here anymore."_ He reminds himself. He's been dreading this day for months. Before Jade…before everything went wrong, he and Jade always talked about going to school together after graduation. Now he would be going to school alone. His parents are thrilled by the idea. They told Beck that college is his chance to put the past behind. They told him how college would be full of new people and he would have a chance to meet plenty of new g... his dad never did finish that sentence but he knew what he was going to say. _Girls. _But they all knew Beck didn't want to meet new girls. He only wanted one girl but he couldn't have her anymore. Doing these all felt wrong without Jade here. Why was he allowed to move on with his life while she couldn't. If anyone deserved that kind of fate it was him.

He must've been deep in thought because the next thing he knew, the ceremony was over and Tori was shaking his shoulder.

"Ready for Nozu? We even convinced Cat to come with us."

He nodded

And they had a pretty good time. They talked and laughed and for once everything seemed okay until Jade's name slips out of his mouth. Her name had been avoided the entire night and the second it was released the table grew quiet. Being here and acting like everything was okay was taking a toll on him. And he meant what he said.

"I miss Jade."

* * *

_Here's to us_


End file.
